"I can't promise you that. No one can."

For an hour yesterday I was writing a rant on the subject of "dating" or whatever our generation calls it. It was paragraph after paragraph of revelations I'd heard from others while recounting my own experiences and those I'd been subjected to indirectly via Facebook status updates. It was passionate and funny in the caustic way, if I do say so myself.

Then I went home and watched "(500) Days of Summer."

I deleted the entire rant. Because everything that I'd written had been addressed in the movie in one way or another. Except that whole idea about soul mates which is, to me, the idea that souls in the universe are split in two and then sent to earth to find each other and then reunite in "heaven" as one soul. But I think sometimes a soul is split into many, many different pieces and it takes a few lifetimes to find all the right ones. And then sometimes the soul isn't split at all, and exists on earth as one complete soul already. Anyway.

What I'm realizing more and more is that there are TONS of people out there that are similar to me, that share my weird beliefs and aspirations, and that have fascinations with facial hair (g.d. hipsters) or something similar. There are a lot of people that geek out about the same shit and that's a comforting thought. I may not be a unique and special snowflake, but at least I'm not alone.

Here's some shit I found this week:

All engineers are terrorists: I'm watchin' you, Dad.

I want to eat this house.

The extended edition

A Lady Gaga fan should enjoy this, closeted or out-and-proud. And if you don't love this song, you're a g.d. Communist.


Since I got ze Netflix, I've been an unabashed hermit. On that note, here's a cursory re-cap of the movies I've eaten since Christmas Eve:

1. "Visioneers": Like a better, more accessible and more intimate "Idiocracy," Zach is actually a pretty good in this one, Judy Greer is always a joy, and Mia Maestro ... mmm. I'm sorry, what were we talking about?
2. "Half Nelson": Was it just me or was Ryan Gosling throwing sexual tension at every vagina on-screen? I gave it 4/5 stars overall.
3. "Man On Wire": Excellent documentary about the Frenchman that walked a tightrope between the Twin Towers in the '70s. What a storyteller and what a well-made doc. Ugh, so refreshing and compelling. Beautiful, exquisite work.
4. "Motorcycle Diaries": Yes, I managed to avoid seeing this one until now. Mia Maestro ... mmm. I'm sorry what were we talking about?
5. "Sin Nombre": Super intense, definitely not one to be missed, honestly.
   
6. "Silent Light": A bit masturbatory in its execution and gimmicky. I get it, they're all nonprofessional actors from an actual Mennonite community. I get it, the director likes slow rhythms, long shots, and long, slow takes. I get it. But that doesn't mean I particularly liked it. Here's what a bunch of more-qualified folks had to say about "Silent Light."
7. "Rachel Getting Married": Shot mostly hand-held, so take that as you will. I felt no sympathy for any of the characters, except maybe for the groom. However, despite all of that, I gave it 4/5 stars. 'Cause I'm suckerrrr.
8. "Let the Right One In": The front cover is right -- "The Best. Vampire Movie. Ever." I mean, yeah, pretty much. Seriously, find it, watch it, eat up its Swedish goodness.
   

I'll try not to dominate this thing with cursory reviews, unless one just blows the brains out of the back of my skull.

----------------------------------------

I really need a Tumblr or Twitter or whatever to house all the weird shit I find.

"But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship
Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them"

I think this would be my Halloween costume for next year. If I were a genius. Are you genius? Drop me a line so we can. Make. This. Happen.

Listen: Homeless Man Covers Radiohead

A list of the Best Songs of 2009. I still need to go through all of these, because I'm already skeptical: Scarlett Johansson's on it.

These are always hilarious: http://www.okcupid.com/the-dating-persona-test

corny-ass shit

Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes. - Buddha

"You play ball like a GIRL!"

Jill's Bachelorette Weekend from Priscilla on Vimeo.

Password: fishmonkey

I just returned from my first bachelorette party. We all convened at Anna Maria Island, west of Bradenton. It's a small island with lots of little stores or what I think Adrienne referred to as "hinky stores." It's mostly a beer and wine island, so you need to bus it all in. The beach/bay thing was about a block away. Yada, yada, yada.

It was surprisingly amazing. I hate to say it, but when I think of eight women all getting together in a 3/3 beach house for a weekend with lots of alcohol, I cringe. Then again, we’ve never been the stereotypical girls. So we decided to get pretty, irritate the locals, and drink tons of beer. However, we did play the obligatory "Pin The Kiss On The Crotch," wear candy jewelry and utilize the ol' hair crimper from the days of yore.

This weekend was really important, not just for Jill transitioning into the next chapter of her life, but because the ladies and I also had some super-corny, righteous, lady-bonding time. Including the most epic game of "Never Have I Ever" in the history of the world and lots of walking from the beach house to our handful of destinations.

I was the youngest. As per usual. In both academics (that effing "art" bachelor's of mine is essentially useless these days haha) and life pursuits/experiences. Needless to say I have a substantial checklist appended to my current to-do list.

The last twelve months have been clunky, intense, and humbling. I don't regret a thing, but I know what I need to do next year. Now I'm going to live for myself, for once I'm going to be selfish, and I'm not going to bend over backward to please everyone I meet so they'll like me. This 2010 thing is looking delicious, I'll say that. First on the list, I'm going on a cruise for New Year's. I wish you could come and rage with me and Janine.

Then 2010 is as follows:

January -- New York for my birthday

February -- Los Angeles for a wedding

March -- Gainesville for a wedding

June -- London/Paris holiday

I'm also trying to get back into freelance proofreading in my free time. I've got plans and I'm ready to run myself ragged to accomplish them.

And now, Kid Cudi:

The cute disease

Some human beings are destined to be just "the friend." Certain men are perpetually stuck in "friend mode" and particular women are in chronic "sister status." There's that one guy friend we ladies have that we consider our brother, our partner, the penis we cry to when another penis made us start the crying. We know that guy friend will never get any play from us. He's stuck in "friend mode." Same goes for specific kinds of girls. And any "Pick-Up Artist" fan can tell you, being kept in "friend mode" is AWWWKWARD.

Along this vein, I thought I might talk about the cute disease.

(The bit at 2:13 is the point.)



Although presented by a flippant and hilarious vehicle like "The Kids in the Hall," the idea that "the cute as a species" have an expiration date for cuteness is sound and very effing real, people.

But it's a double-edged sword, being cute. Cute people aren't taken seriously. Zooey Deschanel couldn’t be the editor-in-chief of a national newspaper or even the manager of an Express store. She's too damn cute. Imagine Elijah Wood as a cutthroat trial lawyer. You can't. 'Cause it'll never happen.

Faithful blog followers, if you thought my erratic sleep patterns were due to the fact that I've moved six times in the last 13 months -- LIES! I'm dreading the day I'm no longer cute. And then I'll just be "nice." Commence to vomit party. Some people can grow out of the cute gracefully, while others. Meh.



All right, I don't know about that last one.

With all that being said, I think if Yelle wasn't Europe's version of cute, she wouldn't be able to do what she does best: Talk about pubes on a record.

P.S. Here are some pictures from the short film I mentioned a few posts ago. The first eight or so pages are of us: Behold the magnificent Dan Reid.

The latest earworm

An update before I hibernate

This Monday we started shooting a UCF capstone thesis. It's seven days to shoot 15 pages. It's tentatively called "My So-Called Guardian Angel" and I'm super proud and excited to be a part of it. I'm the principal, so I'm in about 13 of the 15 pages, or something.

I was wrapped today at 1:30pm for the day after having a call time of 1:30pm YESTERDAY. Yeah, it happens. Granted, professional sets would NEVER allow for such long hours, but come on, live it up! When's the next time I'll be able to say I was conscious for 30 hours straight making movies? Psh. Hey, Dream Job, what's up?

Although I am completely delirious at this point, I'm incredibly swollen with excitement, pride, and all sorts of intangible things. Yeah, I have huge bruises on my knees, my muscles are sore, my brain is fried, and my car needs an oil change, but I feel alive and well despite the dreary weather outside and the purple frosting lodged inside my cell phone.

Hopefully I'll be able to finally fall asleep, maybe watch "Taxi Driver" for funsies, and have dinner with some fancy gents and ladies this evening.

I wrap on Sunday, whenever we finish, and then I'll be back in PBG to resume bidness as usual.

You don't know about me

Thought I'd send a little swooning sorrow and hypnotizing rage your way on this lovely Monday morning. Also, enjoy "It's Cold Outside." It's my cure-all for any shitty day.

Edith Piaf - La Foule
Uploaded by doxminos. - Watch original web videos.

"And I cry out of pain, fury and rage
And I cry
Driven by the crowd that rushes
And dances a mad dance.
I am swept away
And I clench my fists, cursing the crowd that stole
The man it gave me
And I never found."




"Take another drink of wine. Then maybe you'll change your mind."

You Will Suffer With Me/Cass, I Love You

Recently, I've been plagued by two earworms. You will suffer with me.





Lastly, here's some Mama Cass. Man, she was great. I misses you, Mama Cass.



One day I wanna sing this in a public place. Yeah, I can sing. I sang "The Rose" by Bette Midler for my mom's birthday at a coffee house thing. Yeah, I totally didn't get booed. It was awesome. Anyway, someone make this happen. Or the bunny gets it.

"I'm in the car a lot"

http://vimeo.com/7748444

password: businesstime

It's no "Dayman," but it'll do.

OK, just go with me on this one ...

Every day at my job, we receive faxes from all over the country, announcing forward-looking statements, the openings of new bank branches, and the financial goings-on of blah blah blah. But(!) every couple of weeks, we receive a nugget of awesome called the “Aish HaTorah’s ‘Fax of Life’: insights into life, personal growth and Torah” from Rabbi Kalman Packouz. No, I’m not a religious person, but that doesn’t stop me from loving Rabbi Packouz’s fax. (P.S. His picture is at the end, and he’s pulling a thumbs up and smiling. Automatic awesome. Edit: Oh, my god. I found his picture and here it is! I want to stick him in my pocket.)

The last fax was about living a “kinder” life and although most of it was common sense, sometimes people forget that you have to give kindness in order to receive it. A kinder lifestyle can lead to a happier, more satisfying life. ANYWAY. This morning's(!) was about the Jewish tradition of Shidduchim, or “matchmaking.”

When the time comes, a young person goes with his/her parents and they visit a matchmaker. The matchmaker gets to know the person’s personality, values, aspirations, you get it. Then the matchmaker scours the neighbor looking for a suitable match. Then when a match is found, a job interview of sorts is begun and a match’s “references” are triple-checked, even down to kindergarten. Then after a date or two, the two people high-five or part ways.

Rabbi Packouz acknowledges that all this may seem quaint, but the system, as a whole, works most of the time. He cites Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twersky’s work “Twersky on Chumash.” Here’s an excerpt:

“Western civilization is awash in love. The media bombards us with love via every possibly modality: verbal, graphic and lyrical. Is it not strange that with all the emphasis on love, the divorce is an alarming 40 percent? … What passes for ‘love’ in western civilization is either blind passion, or at best, self-love. Neither of these are a basis for an enduring relationship. Passion dissipates fairly soon and self-love may be rather easily frustrated.”

With all this in mind, VH1’s “Tough Love” will be back for a second season Nov. 18! Steve Ward, Philadelphia’s matchmaker, brings all these sad sack women together and, sometimes, helps then find love. Said sad sacks include “The Over-Texter,” “The Princess,” “The Biological Clockwatcher,” aaaand the ever-popular, ever-amusing “Whore with Daddy Issues” because she gets drunk too often, insults innocent dates, and has a blatant crush on Ward. Try to guess which one was which. Enjoy this taste of what you’ve been missing on the eve of the new season.

To be honest, party people, I've never been good at analysis and synthesis when faced with data and evidence. Ask my undergrad professors, they will totally agree. But with the infectious diseases known as eHarmony, Match.com, OKCupid, and Plentyoffish claiming nameless millions, it's no wonder I feel that single people the world over have screamed "Uncle!" and want help finding someone that won't take the last SnackPack without asking. Lugubrious bastards.

Thoughts? Rants? Indifferent shoulder shrugs?

OK, you've been good, here's a LOLcat:

"It's like one guy doin' another a guy a solid ..."

Here's the fascinator in progress, in pieces, pre-feathers:
And here's a picture of the finished (for now) product:

It's really rigid right now and I'll need to trim the feathers a lot shorter. I may also add a small flower to hide any imperfections. haha. So there it is. Womp woooomp. So I'm not impressed by my final product, big whoop, wannafightaboutit?

Next up:
She will be mine. Oh, yes. She will be mine. In a different color.

Did you guys hear about the Florida teacher that was fired because he compared the shape of Florida to a PENIS? Yeah, he was fired. He's gonzo. Here's how I'm handling it. I'm laughing, that's how I'm handling it.

Dance, monkeys, dance!

We Are Gods! We Are Wolves! - Le Loup

Pectus Dentata

I put a new video on Vimeo, but it's not interesting at all. I would only watch it to hear the song I put over it. The password is sandwichparty. I think a good part of the fun of uploading videos is getting to pick out a password. Most of the videos are just to see what I can do with Windows Movie Maker. Kinda like saying "seeing what I can do with MS Paint." Or like trying to play "Fur Elise" on a hair comb covered in wax paper. Speakin' of workin' with m' hands:

Wish me luck. I want to make a small, simple fascinator to wear to ... events? The pictures I find of other examples are really ridiculous and sassy and I just want a subtle one.

I was flipping through my DVD stack and decided to look through "The Manchurian Candidate." There are two reasons why I love the original "The Manchurian Candidate":

1. There was one person dedicated solely to Janet Leigh's HAIR:

2. Frank Sinatra's glasses:
Also, doesn't Laurence Harvey look like Jude Law in that movie? Sometimes? A little bit?

I miss Janet Jackson's shoulder pads

The only nasty thing I like is a nasty groove, huh
***
Nasty Nasty boys, let me see your nasty body move, huh
***
No my first name ain't baby
It's Janet
Miss Jackson if you're Nasty


We are part of the Rhythm Nation
***
It's time to give a damn


And finally, on this Friday: "If"

Things that don't really go together

Sometimes I feel like I'm two people. Yes, I know that's a reflection in the mirror. Trust me, I've tried to teach her that there can be only one Priscilla ... that effing reflection won't leave. Anyway. Focus!

Like, wardrobe for instance.
And let's face it, I don't dress like either of those people. But, boy, would I love to.

Or movies:
Or things that creep me out:
Matt Damon does not creep me out, but that awful awful mustache DOES. And there's a person inside of that costume. But I can't see his/her face. Nope, can't handle it.

For your listening pleasure (because it's just the song, there's no real visual to it), here's Broken Social Scene's "Windsurfing Nation." I recommend swinging your arms around like the wings of an aeroplane while listening to it. Or not. I mean, whatever, I don't care.

Toot toot beep beep

I made this for my friends in South Korea. They teach English there. I wanted to make them slippers, but they forbade me to ship anything heavier than a postcard. I win. I made it out of ads in a fashion mag. I used to do it more in high school because I had so many subscriptions. Here are a few of the highlights. The ones I'm really proud of have been given away and I didn't document them. Eh.


Forgive the webcam, I was unable to scan them. A picture of a picture made from other pictures.

And for old time's sake, enjoy George Michael's "Too Funky."

Prepare

Some of my favorite ladies at Backbooth in Orlando. Janine was Frida Kahlo, I was The Bearded Lady, and Shannon was a Dharma Initiative person. I don't know, I don't follow "Lost," and I don't plan on following it anytime soon. Thumbs up! I was approached by many a drunk fella "jealous" of my facial hair ... and then they would continue to stand there. That's how smooth I am with strangers.

I know it's been beat to death like the Balloon Boy bullshit, but I saw so much lady ass and lady parts that night in downtown Orlando, that I could probably sketch a few ladies by sheer memory. Come on, ladies, really? REALLY!? When did the slogan for lady Halloween costumes become "Go sexy or GO HOME!"

Onward! To follow-up on my glock post, here's my first song. Any requests? :) The password is glock.

I play the glockenspiel from Priscilla on Vimeo.

Lastly, here's a song that I never get tired of. Kinda wish I could have it as my ring tone, but let's be honest, I'd NEVER answer the phone ... just like now. Haaaa.

Workinonit - J Dilla

Tuesday Schmoozday

I bought this the other day. It should be coming in the mail soon. It's for 4-year-olds, yes, and I'm going to learn "London Bridge is Falling Down." I think it's the only song that comes with the book.

I've been working on something moving-picture-related. It's embarrassing, but I really have nothing else I'd rather do with my time spent in the car. Here's a still from the experiments:
I'm headed to Orlando this weekend for Halloween essplosion and rehearsal.

And finally:

Obligatory Update

Hi.

How are you?

I'm OK.

Um. Not much to report here that would interest you. Pfff.

I went on an Amazon.com music downloading spree. Unfortunately, I've always been about four to five years behind on music, so some of the selections are kinda no-brainers. MGMT's "Oracular Spectacular," M.I.A.'s "Kala," and MF DOOM's "Mm...Food." And I also downloaded a song from Brother Ali, as after going through the previews, I realized I only liked that one song. Pity.

In December, we'll be hearing back from film festivals to see if we've been rejected or accepted. Bring on the rejection! I will punch through it the way Mike Tyson used to envision his opponents. By we, I mean "Frank DanCoolo: Paranormal Drug Dealer," directed by Andrew W. Jones, produced by Jeanette McNeil, and finessed by the incomparable Dastoli Digital. If you're on Facebook, there are stills from the shoot and we've an IMDb.com credit as well. You can track the journey it made in its development, pre-production, and post-production at Never Knows Animation blog.

This weekend I'll be headed to Gainesville. I'll see if I can swing by High Springs and get some hugs. Next weekend, Halloween in Orlando. The bearded lady returns!

Lastly, I did a "photo shoot" with the talented and magnificent Tiina Treasure. It's called "Surprise."
Enjoy.

Shuttin' it down

Like Gordon Ramsay's "Kitchen Nightmares," I'm making some major changes to my crappy underwhelming restaurant. I've become a slave to Facebook. I've begun to comment on things that have nothing to do with me and I need to stop. I had an intervention of sorts with myself. So I'm avoiding Facebook for the next week, month, whenever. I'm not deleting the account, you just won't be seeing as many non sequitur, cryptic status updates.

I quit my freelance proofreading. I also deleted my MySpace account. I also deleted my Flickr account. I'm also closing up my shop at Etsy after the holidays. It's not even fun anymore, I don't have the time or motivation to stay up all night posting in forums and chatting with strangers in an Etsy special interest group. It's been like having a hole in my pocket: a couple of dollars there, a couple of dollars here for fees and renewals. My closet is overrun with boxes of yarn, half-finished projects and ad/PR crap. I'm just going to stick with word of mouf and consignment.

Also, unrelated, a guy I worked with in LA named John Charles Meyer was in the new Christian Slater TV show "The Forgotten." Here's a link to the pilot, where he plays "Quint." Yay, JCM!

I hate the Ice Cream Man

For those that don't know me well, I was born and raised in the middle of effing nowhere. Next door neighbors meant I'd still have to ride my bike, drive a golf cart, or waste gas on idling through a street. Needless to say, I didn't grow up in average suburbia. Little did I know that there was such a thing as an Ice Cream Man that came to your neighborhood every day to sell you frozen treats.

Because I don't see this daily occurrence as normal, I find the presence of the Ice Cream Man abso-frigging-terrifying. I hear the tinkling of "Pop Goes the Weasel" over a loud speaker and I see that ice-cream-sandwich-peddling fiend's van, creeping through my neighborhood, tempting me with sweet delicious TREATS! I say, "No! No, Ice Cream Man, you're not normal!"

By the way, it's 9:23 p.m. on a Sunday and I distinctly hear child yells in the streets. Lock your wigs, bolt down your patio furniture: The children are out.

Newsflash: I hate driving.

It is illegal to drive with your hazard lights on (in Florida). Yes, it is. You can only turn them on when you are not in motion. No, you cannot turn them on during a rainstorm. It just confuses every one and distorts their depth perception. Please, please, please stop doing it. As someone who seems to live in her driver's seat and is plagued by rainstorms 80 percent of her long-distance driving experiences, I beg of you, please. Quit.

If you need me, I'll be in my Jag, running stop signs and swearing at people who get in my way while I'm going to the bank on my lunch break.

A small tribute to a Viking

To perhaps the sweetest, most righteous and excellent beard in all the land. Greg Allard will be greatly missed. His infectious and glorious laughter shone like a freakin’ supernova-on-fire sandwich party. I wanted a beard once, so I photoshopped his beard onto my face because that's what kind of beard I dream of having.

Breaking News: I hate ants.

It’s a fight to the death between us humans and the pharaoh ants. It’s a patient fight -- and I’m totally losing. I have to wait until they take the liver-boric acid bait back to their stupid wall-void home and feed it to all of their stupid wall-void family. But I can't. I must smear every single one that I see.

Conventional sprays and dusts don’t work because they scatter; and not because they sense your presence. It’s because their bodies are so light that the force by which the spray is delivered is enough to pick them up off the ground and give them flight like that the Dumbo ride at Disney World. Or like that time when we tried to kill a spider at the What Manor, but instead of killing it, we birthed a billion of its babies all over the foyer baseboards. Raid simply scattered them like a can of air from Office Depot. Dear god, the ambush still haunts my dreams.

I’ve been reading up on these squatters who think live in our bathrooms. They’re well-known pests worldwide, but most notably in hospitals. They’ve been seen on a baby’s face stealing its precious saliva for moisture, infiltrating sealed sterile bags, contaminating IV bags, and living inside of wounds, spreading infection. I just threw up in my mouth, hold on. Ugh, so gross. I hate these ants. These ants must die.

You can ess a bee of dees, pharaoh ants -- we are so over.

The Power of Three!

My not-so-private obsession
Project Runway's back! Season 6 is in its second week and I lurve it 5000. I'll spare you the gushing and the Tim Gunn glory. However, I will say this: The Lifetime channel is a little too jazzed to have Project Runway on its lineup. As a co-worker of mine observed, "All I see on the their schedule anyway is 'The Nanny,' 'The Nanny,' 'The Nanny,' 'Army Wives,' and a movie shot in Canada about a battered woman whose baby is stolen from her."

Lastly, I hate the new show PR has created just for the models. Please, don't give them anymore attention than they already receive on a daily basis. I hate to say it, but Project Runway may have jumped the shark on that one. Le sigh, but I still love it.

My best friend: 409-751-31

Since 2006 or '07, I've been receiving phone calls from the same three phone numbers. I'll share them so we all know what's going on:

• 1-800-503-8622 (http://net.nopin.us/fAQ.aspx)
  
• 409-751-31
• 502-409-75131

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Priscilla, those last two shouldn't even be phone numbers." Trust me, I know. And each time they've called over the years, they've never left a message and the very few times I've answered, I was yelled at with a foreign "Hello!!!??" to keep me on the phone for as long as possible. Do you have weird numbers that continue to call you even though you don't answer? Just me? Oh.

Welcome home

Behold our new comforter set we'll be buying shortly. It's the closest color scheme we could get to sophisticated ice cream. I think we accomplished something great here. Truly s'cream-tastic, indeed. We begin moving into an apartment this weekend. I've come to realize that 55 percent of my belongings are crochet-related. Will post pictures once the dust has settled. Yes, we have a door this time. And a fourth wall. And a private bathroom. And we don't have a roommate sleeping in the dining room! What a dream!

P.S. Did you guys watch my gift to you last Friday?! Yeah, you're welcome.

Happy Friday

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I'm so bad at Hallowe'en costumes

Every year, I go into sweatpants mode the day of or the week of Hallowe'en. This is who I was last year:
Yes, exactly. "Who is that?" you're wondering. It's "Janine" from Hot Fuzz. The whole costume was <$20 at Home Depot. Score. The only trouble with my costumes is that I never choose characters and personalities that people immediately can identify. I've always wanted to be these guys for Hallowe'en. Martin Short as SNL's "Ed Grimley."

William Sanderson as "J.F. Sebastian" from Blade Runner. I read that the jacket he wore in that movie (not pictured) was being sold in an online auction. Bidding starts at $8,000.

So, here are some options for this Hallowe'en 2009:

The Joker's nurse costume from The Dark Knight. The dress is being auctioned off on eBay for 30 bucks. And it's a regular, plain white dress; Heath didn't actually wear it or anything. 'Kay.

Jim Carrey as the title character in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, as pictured above.

Are you weird like me and thinking ahead?

Oh, god, fine

I wanted to scan my latest postcards received from Germany, The Netherlands, and China. I tried, but the scanner is giving me nightmares with its incapability to scan a smaller-than-normal postcard from Guang-Dong. I can't read Chinese characters, so I guess I'll have to learn.

Not really much is going on. We're looking at another apartment this week/end. There's lots of different comments I could make about the whole situation.

The X's mean their done. I have another idea from the new Alice in Wonderland vomit party Tim Burton's throwing. They're just these horizontal black-and-white-striped fingerless hand things.

I bought this yesterday, something I've wanted for a very long time and hopefully I can hang it up in my future apartment.
He's an "underground" hip-hop artist. This is painted on a vinyl record. I like it. You don't have to. Hahah

It's worth 41 million doll hairs...

My site is worth
$41.10 Million

Your website value?

Is This Thing On?

Here's a mass of images, things, and people that are running through my mind in terms of Fall crap to make for TheMustStash.


There's actually a ton more that are on a huge growing list of mine, but really, I don't have another Google image search in me tonight. August is going to be a busy month. And so will September and October. I'm hoping to keep my wits about me and resist the urge to scour the Custom Requests nightmare on Etsy. I always hate my final product and I always doubt that the buyer actually likes the final product anyway. Crazy.

Uh, also check out this Hong Kong-based Etsy store called Chic Sin Design. This is all I'll say: bea bag chair that looks like a sleeping grizzly bear. Done.

God, You're So Creepy

Commercials recently have crossed the threshold of "Wow, that's kinda weird and uncomfortable," to "God, that's so creepy." Here are the two that have been the most unforgivable.

1. Tamara Hope in the Palm Pre commercials
"I was walking in the park. After lunch. When I saw this woman juggling..." Yeah, right, we know you don't go out into the daylight. Your eyebrows, lips, hair, and skin are all the same color. If you did go out, it'd be with a black umbrella, long sleeves, and long pants, listening to the soundtrack to WoW. And you have a jewel-encrusted iPhone. Don't lie. I'm not the only one that feels this way:

• Assigning Blame for that Weird Palm Pre Commercial (PC World)
• New Palm Pre TV Ad is Quiet. Too Quiet (PreCentral.net)
• Some random girl's Twitter account posting thing tweet puke
  

2. Billy Mays' pitches. STILL
But dammit if my world doesn't shimmer just the tiniest when I see him sell me OrangeGlo. RIP, Billy!

FutureSex LovePlans

In Kids In the Hall: Brain Candy, there is a bit in which Kevin MacDonald tries to look busy in the scientific laboratory and to himself, he mumble-sings "Lots of things to do in the lab, lots of things to do." I mention this because I always want to say it at work, but against my better judgment (Jared), I refrain from resorting to quotes from movies to relate to people.
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It's been a full 2 1/2 weeks with the personal finance Web site I'll avoid naming and I'm really starting to get the hang of it. I slayed a dragon that most would find to be a guinea pig in a dragon costume, but I slayed it nonetheless! Jared went in for training at Target and everything that could go wrong did, so I'll leave it at that and say Target, that's enough sweat-pants mode for you!

Do you have plans for New Years? 'Cause I turtley do. I'll be going to MEXICO!
Yes. Cruise. Dig it. I got my passport photo today, and the only people that will be seeing are authority figures that demand to see it. Ew. Hopefully both of these people will be there:
The guest list has been finalized and now we wait. I want to say that all the arrangements will be set by mid-August because I am NOT paying too much for being hesitant. :)

On the home front, I don't personally own any coffee mugs/tea cups and I can never own too many blazers-I-can-only-wear-in-the-"winter" blazers. I purchased some yesterday and shall be mine in 3-5 business days.
Thanks to Etsy's Freestyle Vintage Co. and Le Vintage Maison for all their fancy wares. It should've been named "Le Maison Vintage" probably, if we're going for technicality, but anyway, she has a LOT more coffee mugs and tea cups similar to these in their awesomeness.

Tuesday is for Tea Pots (and Tea Cups)

For those that are mentally ill for all things tea-related (like me), you'll appreciate this search at Etsy. Here's a short list of my faves I snagged a look at this morning:

From Lady Madonna Pottery in Richmond, Va.


From Genevieve Marcus in Seattle, Wash.


From Fred Park Pottery in "Middle," Ga.

And last, but my favorite:
From Magpie Pocket in Reading, Berkshire, UK.

Yes, I'm looking up teapots and the like at 8:14am. I'm not even at work yet. Get over it.