You came to the wrong address

So when I'm sick, I zone out, consume copious amounts of Zicam via my nasal passages, Mucinex down my gullet, and movies through my eyeballs. Here's the list thus far:

Henry Rollins: Shock & Awe
The Business of Being Born
Day Watch (Dnevnoy Dozor), sequel to the crazy Night Watch
The Orphanage (El Orfanato)
Super High Me
Modify
The Comedians of Comedy (seen before, still love it)
Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill (seen before, still love it)
Very Young Girls
C'est Arrivé Près de Chez Vous (Man Bites Dog)
Bande á Part (Band of Outsiders)
Delicatessen (10 years before he made Amelie)
Happenstance

All are mildly to extremely awesome, except for "Super High Me." It's a waste of time. Obviously. I watched it so you didn't have to. I'm a chronic people pleaser. I aim to please you.

For the first time in years

I had a good dream. I usually just have epic apocalyptic dreams about escape, packing and unpacking, and trying to find something I've already packed, usually very dangerous, suspenseful, unnerving and stressful. This one seemed to be post-apocalyptic for once. And I finally felt at ease and content.

I try to remember what Janine said: All that matters is that it was a good dream.

The Beeline Highway

There are only 3 1/2 things within a 10-mile radius of where I live:

Three miles away is the North County General Aviation Airport which, in addition to being utilized by private plane owners/pilots/enthusiasts, is used to test experimental and prototype helicopters from United Technologies, Sikorsky, and a stunted branch of Pratt & Whitney. Any given day you can see them flying overhead and on weekends you can hear the more daring pilots gettin' their yayas out among the clouds.

The Palm Beach International Speedway is nine miles away in the opposite direction. On both weeknights and weekends you can hear the barks and screams of angry cars trying to pass the red line first. Speaking of which, Nitro Jam's all up in your face this weekend. I'll have to imagine that huge effing tricked-out school bus tearin' ass on just two wheels, because I would rather catch up on my Netflix than deal with those gear heads and rednecks. Gugh. (Sorry, I'm boring, uninteresting, and unexciting. Thhhp.)

Then six miles away, before the Speedway, there's the heavy hand of UTC and the late-night rumblings to let you know Pratt & Whitney's still around, it's just been gutted entirely and moved to Hartford, Conn. or laid off in droves. My dad was always spared. Every Friday he'd come home and chirp "I've still got a job!" It was rough-house, indeed. There are three shifts at Pratt, so that whole thing is going 24 hours a day. There's always an engine running, even at 3 a.m., for a shuttle, jet, etc. and you can hear it grumble like a moving tank in the distance.

Finally, there's the railroad track that cuts straight through it all, running the Amtrak at all hours of the day and night, calling out to our sleepy neighborhood that people are still awake, there are still places yet to go.

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Every day this week I've been waking up at 5 a.m. and proofreading until I have to leave at 8:30 for my real job. Then I get home at 6, eat dinner, shower, and then proofread until 10. Now that I'm not knee-deep in APA style, I can finally get to "Shock & Awe" that's been sitting on the kitchen counter all week. Henry Rollins, you're gonna GET IT! Next up: finishing Paul's beanie and taking another pass at my fascinator, while also making outlines for writing projects. Sucka.

Facts and Figures

There are over one million people in Palm Beach County and 23% are over 65 and 21% are under 18. Fifty-one percent are female. I was perusing my county's points of interest and discovered 30 different drug rehabilitation and treatment centers from North Palm Beach to Boca, about one hour driving. I'm ... intrigued?

Is your state/county any different? I'm curious now.

I read this morning that a notable percentage of deaf students who graduate high school, graduate reading at the same level as most 10-year-olds. Scientists have noted that closed captioning for the deaf isn't nearly as effective as a signer. Doesn't come close. So, they're developing a program fronted by a computer-generated signer that can sign whatever is called for. Lines and lines of code, rules for predicting language, American Sign Language. It's mind-blowing.

They're also trying to create a better tutor. Passersby couldn't tell that subjects were talking to a computer program. They just assumed they were chatting with someone on Skype. Seriously.

Yeah, what did YOU do today? Pfff, right? Geez.

Gerard Butler: What are you doing

Listen, G.B. I heard you were great in "Phantom of the Opera." We all know you bared your teeth and everything else in "300" and also may have done something that can be construed as awesome in "Beowulf & Grendel." But this whole "P.S. I Love You," "The Ugly Truth," and "Bounty Hunter" nonsense is making blood shoot out of my nose. You're pulling a McConaughey and I. Don't. Like. It. Good day.

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I'm getting ready to outline some new scripts/short stories (that you'll never get to read). Yeah. Yeah!

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To my friends & family,

I'd like to apologize. My bad. I was whack. It's not you, it's me. Sorry.

I've been withholding my private life and my feelings from you and that's not cool. Things are weighing heavily on my heart as of late, and I've been pushing you away. I know you hate it when I do that. You notice right away and you don't like it. I know. I'm sorry. I'm not saying it's going to stop altogether, I'm just letting you know I'm aware of the situation and I'm working on it. Just like when the power goes out in your apartment and the power company doesn't know why, but lies and says it's workin' on it. Kinda like that.

I'm just being honest and I know you appreciate honesty. So if you have something to say, but you don't think I'll care or listen or that it'll rock my world apart, you're very wrong. Despite my stature, I'm a big girl, and I'd love to listen. You know that. I'm done now. kthxbye

Words people

We had a huge group meeting today at work. We were listening to the head of another department present his Powerpoint presentation on the impact of keywords on our site traffic, don't upset the Google-monster. And he made a point to say that he had omitted any and all numbers-related figures, charts, or graphs from the presentation because he knew we were "words people" and we wouldn't really respond to it anyway. WORDS PEOPLE. We're words people, and the second we start to hear numbers, we zone out, stop listening, and begin throwing things. Yep. He had a pie chart with no percentages in it, just a legend of which color corresponded to which subject.

Coincidentally, this morning on my way to work, I decided I needed to challenge myself more and contemplated which introductory physics-related book I should read. But I'm a words person, so that shit'll be useless to me.

sin asunto

Blah blah blah.

In addition to being accepted into the Boston Science Fiction Film Festival, "Frank DanCoolo: Paranormal Drug Dealer" has also been selected to screen at the Gasparilla Film Festival. Hey, nerds, I'm comin' to GITCHYA!

Some girls are crazy ...

In other news, "Frank DanCoolo: Paranormal Drug Dealer" will be screened at the 35th Annual Boston Science Fiction Film Festival next month. I'm-a do a happy dance.

Password: rachmaninoff

I still play the glockenspiel. from Priscilla on Vimeo.

Speaking of the 'maninoff, suck on this one for a while. Get through all 10 minutes, so worth it:

I always found Rachmaninoff's work to be really thick and heavy like a syrup. He'd smack you around and then stroke your cheek and tell you he did it because he loved you. And buy you pretty gladiolas. You know who else is great? Vivaldi. Tchaikovsky. Those guys are delicious.

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Women (and men too, but especially women) take everything personally. We stub our toe on the bathroom tile and we think the bathroom has a vendetta. It could rain that morning, and somehow the day is ruined, and we think it's a personal attack on us from Mother Nature herself. A car could cut us off on the way to work and we swear it's that bitch Tiffany from middle school that broke our nose in yearbook class and she's back for more blood.

So it's safe to say that when someone makes a general statement about females in general, whether as a gender or the immediate vaginas in one's life, be advised that any generalization is taken as a passive-aggressive comment directed at us. We know it's not, we're sure it's not, but we just can't help it. We take it as a hint to us personally as we sit in our pajamas, hitting CTRL+R on Facebook.

This could be because some of us have learned a horrible habit: using passive-aggressive behavior to "solve" our "problems" or at least to make the public aware of our "problems," begging for commiseration. Facebook counts as the public, hence any "cryptic" status updates like "you're such an asshole" or "next time you want to text me for a late-night makeout, try calling me by MY name instead of that common strumpet Tracy." Whoa. Bitches is crazy. Just pick up the phone and leave a horrible voicemail, because you know that guy isn't going to take your call now anyway. Some girls, and let's face it even some dudes, would much rather whine publicly than confront the person directly. It's easier(?)

So when anyone makes a "general" statement, the crazy gears start a-grindin', and then the fingers start a-typin'. I apologize on behalf of all crazy people worldwide if you've been the subject of a "Why-would-you-say-that, when-you-knew-I-would-see-it?" lashing even though your statement had nothing to do with them. Like all human beings, more specifically American human beings, all genders think everything is about them. I'm sorry, truly sorry. Oof indeed.

Does this count as one? Nah. Definitely not.

I'll go hang my head in shame now.

"Oh, don't. You look so ugly when you cry."

That quote comes from the cartoon "Archer" I saw for the first time on FX last night. Anything H. Jon Benjamin manages to mumble via cartoon character is colossal and hilarious. I was watching the plane-provided TV while flying home from JFK, after spending an hour in line to taxi at the airport. Could have been worse. Way worse.

Other quotes from the week:

• "This is your country, don't let the big men take it away from you." -- photo at the MOMA.
• "You don't like it? Then go on the Internet and complain." -- Sorry, it was "Family Guy." Deal with it.
• "With the proper swagger, any guy can score the girl of his dreams." -- BoysLifeNYC. (I linked to his intro post, because it's the best.) I contend that with the proper swagger, it's still insufficient for a girl to score the guy of her dreams. It's been in my experience that it doesn't work the other way around. Feel free to argue with me. Maybe I'll make that a separate post.
  

Here's another video. It has the clips I took while celebrating my birthday. It's short and useless to you. Password: skyscrapers

It was my birthday. from Priscilla McEver on Vimeo.

"All I need to do is a little growing up and self-discovery and I will be ready... "

How is it only Wednesday?

It's the slowest week ever, so I've slowed down for Iron & Wine:



My other I&W favorites:
Boy With a Coin
Faded from the Winter
Peace Beneath the City

Throughout the day

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I've always wanted to learn archery. I was never given the opportunity and I feel a little less human because of this. I tried to find ANY establishment in my "area" that offered lessons or even a demonstration on archery and was met with "0 search results."

I wish I could travel to Tokyo in April to witness the Yabusame festival. HORSEBACK ARCHERY. Granted, I wouldn't be allowed to touch anything or actually participate, but shit that would be mind-blowing regardless.

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I think I'm going to start saving up for grad school. This B.A. in English shit is not cuttin' it. Granted, it'll be another three years or so, but I'm patient.
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If I could be any sea mammal/oceanic fish, I would be a blue whale. It's the biggest animal ever (that we know of, so far). I'd just glide around all day, looking for krill, "incidentally" eating crustaceans, trying not to get caught in nets or impaled by vessels. Sometimes divers will show up and try to ride me, but I just barrel roll and shit. Blue whales aren't for riding. The world also doesn't know a lot about the blue whale, so I'd be like a mystery. An enigma. You don't where I've been, who I get down with, or how. You have no idea.

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Sometimes I listen to this song, and I imagine I'm doing something similar to this video but not in the violent way. Sorry, it is pretty violent:


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This list of lists

For the Winter Solstice, a co-worker of mine got me 501 Things To Do If You Dare. I went through and found I'd done 100 of them, so I guess I've still got my work cut out for me. Here are some of the things I think I can complete in the next year or so:

No. 7: Bungee jump (yet skydiving isn't on the list at all)
No. 11: Ride a motorcycle
No. 50: Ride a mechanical bull
No. 100: Fire a handgun
No. 152: Lick a flagpole in winter
No. 304: Go to Tiffany's in Manhattan
No. 339: Walk across the downtown area of a major metropolitan city some time after midnight, but before 5 a.m.
No. 462: Solve a mystery.
No. 485: Eat an ice cream cone as fast as you can
No. 498: Go spicy (as you can stand it)
No. 499: Drink Turkish coffee
No. 500: Drink Irish coffee

I think I could do maybe eight of those next week on my birthday.

Keep in mind that most of the "things to do if you dare" are illegal or will almost certainly result in serious injury and/or death. So ... I'm gonna ignore ... some of them. Like No. 163: "Reproduce." That's not really a dare. That's, like, a person.

It looks like I'll be spending my birthday in mostly Manhattan. Woo WOOO! This is my wish list thus far. If I don't make it to all of them, I won't be devastated.:

Tiffany (for the dare)
727 5th Ave, New York, NY 10022

Museum of Modern Art (for the Burton)
11 West 53rd Street, New York, NY 10019-5497

Rabbit Club (for the brew)
111 E 7th St, New York, NY 10009

Ciao for Now (for the Tiina Treasure)
523 East 12th Street, New York, NY 10009

Magnolia Bakery (for the CAKE)
401 Bleecker Street, New York, NY 10014-2452

Veselka (because it was in a movie)
144 2nd Ave, New York, NY 10003

Markt Restaurant (because I trust Rose)
676 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10010

And here's a list of lists:
My favorite heart-related movie clips

Did you know I used to write music reviews for the Interwebz?

10 Most Incredible Things To Do Before You Die (if "you" were a billionaire). I'm sure you and I could only do about 5 or 6 of them.

Dresses I want to alter and make my OWN: (oh, god the green one AAAAHHHH)

This song was playing in my head all day as my mom and I drove through the city, 39 degrees and raining. I'm so predictable these days, the same 4 artists every day, it must be torture for you.

"... But you're freaking me out"

Next Friday I'll be flying up to New York to celebrate my birthday. I'm taking suggestions for food and drink in any of the five boroughs. Granted, I'll have one full day to find them all.

I think I can do it. I'm packin' my party shoes.



p

"What happens on the cruise ... ends up on YouTube."

Hi, how was your day?

I got some new gloves and a pocketbook and oh, my god how did I use 1,200 text messages last month?! Ew.

For New Year's, Janine and I decided to go on a cruise to Cozumel, Mexico. This was my first cruise experience and although I enjoyed myself as much as one can with my complexion, I did come to a clear conclusion. I don't like cruises.

(I like making lists and I like making sweeping generalizations. They make me teehee.)

1. Cruises are for married people.
2. Cruises are for people who like the sun.
3. Cruises are for people who believe that "I'll sleep when I get home. I'm on vacation."
4. Cruises are for people who enjoy being swallowed by a boatload of strangers.

My vacation is relaxing and taking my time in new places, staring at shit and examining it, most preferably sober. I don't need a laundry list of activities to feel accomplished, I guess. Is that bad? And I do hate the sun, I don't know what the hell I was thinking. But there was an exorbitant amount of mirth to be had there and my heart swelled a bit like the Grinch after he stole Christmas and then put it back (that's what happened, right?).

Mexico was pretty precious once we finally got off the main street and away from Senor Frog's and Carlos'n Charlie's. Janine and I got lunch and margaritas at Plaza Leza. We were also treated to middle-aged-lady dancing while a father-son wooden xylophone concert happened on the sidewalk. The son had an eyebrow and lip ring under his modest sombrero. We made it RAIN IN THAT TIP BUCKET! Freakin' amazing. People walking the streets would stop, sing with outstretched arms and dance, and then continue on their way.

Here's the video I slapped together. There's not a whole lot, but honestly I wanted to live it, not spend my time recording it, you know? Goo. Password: dramamine

I went on a cruise. from Priscilla on Vimeo.

Back by (my) demand, here's the goth "Single Ladies." Jesus, this shit is so funny. And a damn good song, admit it.

The nonreader's digest

The strawberry crab. Him fancy.


Independent Lens presents "The Atom Smashers." Netflix has the full episode, but PBS (and Terrence Howard!?) cut it to under an hour. You know, when I was younger, I wanted to be an astrophysicist ... before I figured out what an astrophysicist really did. Then, you know, I moved on, crushed. But still, the romance of science is still such an intoxicating notion for me. The idea of the Higgs boson both being real and able to be discovered is earth-shattering. If you're not going to watch the video (consider us enemies), the Higgs boson is a very special particle that gives matter its mass, which to me sounds like "gives life its meaning," which is crazysauce. That's nuts. Think about it. You can't. You'd lose your mind. Anyway.

I finally got to see "Eagle vs. Shark." It was wonderful. You don't have to see it. I don't think you'd like it anyway. It's my kind of humor/love story and not many people have the patience for it. Here's my favorite scene, albeit in atrocious quality.

Has anyone been able to see The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus yet!? Dammit!

I figured out why my last video was all squished. It won't be happening again. New Year's cruise to Cozumel vid forthcoming.