Oral surgery -- pretty much

Goo. I had some minor oral surgery last week and I've been whining about it ever since. Basically that tissue that connects my bottom lip to my gums was too short, so they fixed it. However, I hadn't anticipated that I wouldn't be able to eat anything but soups and oatmeal, and swishing with the same prescription-strength mouthwash that people with gingivitis use. Awesome.

I've also been unable to smile correctly, therefore rendering me equally as helpless when laughing. I just hold my chin and lips, hoping I don't pop the stitches.

Those feet disgust me

I will say this once and I will never say it again: When I see feet in the dashboard of a car, I feel nauseated. I don't have an anti-foot fetish, but the way the toes poke out from the windshield of a car makes me want to throw up in my own hand and then throw it at strangers.

I hate melon/summer.

I don't like melons. Watermelons, cantaloupes, honeydew -- no, thanks. I always associate melons with summer, something I also detest. So when I'm forced to eat the pulpy, syrupy bullshit imprisoned in its deceptive rind, I can't help but imagine I'm eating fruit pulp infused with sweat. Melons are sweat fruit to me.

I hope this won't affect our relationship, because I treasure our friendship.

Enjoy your summer. I'll be crawling further into my fair-skinned-people cave. See you in the fall or the nearest patch of shade.