I don't give a shit about celery

I can cook now! This is so exciting!

Eighteen months ago, I worked mostly with AllRecipes.com, but as the months have progressed and I've gone pretty full-on vegetarian and lazily vegan, I've been lurking all manner of personal and personal-gone-professional food blogs. Then when I got a slow cooker for Christmas, I had a whole new pre-occupation.

Beans, beans, onions and tomatoes, cloves and cloves of garlic and a whole bottle of ginger powder later, I've become way more confident "in the kitchen." I made vegan corn chowder last night, people! This is serious! And with my willing and hungry partner in the kitchen (Thank you, Chris), I am virtually unstoppable.

But what's next? Well, everything. I'm looking into alternative forms of flour and looking at baking things. Things that don't contain mostly heavy cream, butter, and sugar. And making our own breads sounds like fun/terror.

When I'm looking for recipes, I try to stick to similar realms of ingredients, but so many recipes call for celery and I'm just like, no. I remember as a child enjoying a lovely egg salad sandwich, minding my own sandwich-business, and then CRUNCH. My mind would suddenly race as I desperately tried to figure out "What is this is this onion? What is this is this RED ONION? What is this is this EGGSHELL? No, no, no it's celery. Ugh." And then when I'd see it in soups, it may as well have been a saturated cotton ball or a green carrot. Utterly useless and tasteless.

One day I'm sure I'll get over it and just have celery around, but. No. Not right now.

Tentacled performance beast

A few months ago, I teamed up with this creature:
And this precious gem:

As well as some other fanciful monsters to "make work" essentially. As I was not able to snap pics of the remaining 3 other group members, here is an artist's rendering of the rest of our crew:
In a nutshell, I was able to perform in front of people in a way in which I couldn't merely hide behind a character and wardrobe. And as an ensemble, which is also my most favoritest. (i.e., ensemble movies of the '80s and '90s). We wanted to parody, comment on, affectionately mock, and pay tribute to some of the music scenes that we frequent most often, and in a way that played with gender and the "other." Fellow teammates, feel free to elaborate more better in the comments section. This was a collaborative effort, so I WANT TO HEAR YOUR LUSCIOUS VOICES.

We did 4 shows in 6 days, in Brooklyn, then in Northampton, Mass., as well as different houses in the Boston area. It was incredible, and it made me so happy to be working as a team, flowing as a group, and listening to each other. Each performance was structured differently, but had general "tracks" that would be shuffled, but the energy was always strong and throbbing. It was so delicious to wake up in the morning, sore from the performance the night before. Hopefully, a video will be posted soon; you'll see it.

While performing at these houses, I was so fascinated by everyone's living rooms, bedrooms, kitchens. I loved them all. I wanted to take as many pictures, try to build a piece of furniture they had, or decorate my apartment with something in particular. Here's one of them:
The group plans to do more shows. MANY MANY more shows. Providence, Baltimore, Toronto -- WE WANT THEM ALL.

Lazy (Every)day

You're right. I did spend most of my weekend watching RuPaul's Drag Race, X-Files, and eating half-priced Valentine's Day chocolate.

It's been a rough couple of weeks, so this past weekend, I just decided to stay in, set up camp in my bedsheets, and refuse the sunlight a little more than usual.

A few things, though:
* Other people's long hair keeps getting stuck on me.

* When both the sink and the tub have poor drainage, the last thing I should be doing is plunging both till futility in a wifebeater and my Jeffrey Dahmer glasses. When it was clear that nothing was going to budge, I continued to do it out of sheer scientific fascination. I should have just called our generous and wonderful maintenance men the first time. Sorry, Chris. For insisting on showerlessness for up to 3 days. I'm sorry.

* I can't eat eggs anymore? Long story. Doesn't matter. I can eat things with eggs in them, though. Cakes be damned, I will continue to devour them whole.

I had a Guinness milkshake, and it was as glorious as I'd dreamed. Subtle, friendly, delicious.

Here's a video with a musical group singing at a bear in a zoo.

I need to learn to say no

All right, a list again. I find it focuses my thoughts the best. Also, my Google calendar helps me remember. This doesn't say much for my quickly-fading memory at the decrepit age of 26. Weh.

I got sick twice in one month.
Yes, it happened. I had a full-on, stay-at-home and eat everything "cold." And then I felt great for 2 weeks. And then what was a dehydration-related post-drinking gross Sunday turned into a sick sequel. I'm going to stop trying to understand it and refuse to give it anymore power by refusing to believe that it's real. Deal wit it.

I was a guinea pig for NYU.
I got $25 for helping with an audio experiment at NYU. Pretty straightforward, and pretty fun. One of these things is not like the others. It was one of those days where you should just stay inside, and I was more than happy to escape the cold.

Ate some great food.
I think this is a given every week. And yes, I'm a brunch person. Moreso, I'm a lazy breakfast person. I love pancakes. It has the word "cake" in it; what's not to love? I had a waffle with bananas, apricots, chocolate and something else, but the waffle was a wrap, like a falafel sandwich. Those people are on to something!

Got a fourth job.
Are you even surprised? You shouldn't be. I do plan on bringing it down to 3, and keeping it at 3. These are all "They're very part time, and they could dry up at any moment," so I keep them all around. I accumulate them. Just in case.

I remember when I was first moved here and it was dry like the Gobi, and I always saw that "Now Hiring" sign at United Colors of Benetton down the street from my apartment. I kept thinking, "Well, if after Christmas I don't land anything, I'll go in." And I probably wouldn't have been hired, because I don't have any sales experience. Having an anxiety about people in general will make you less appealing in sales.

I still need to get my shit together.
I'm working on this new project, which will cull all of my hobbies together into one performance in mid-April at a 2-day festival in Boston. I'm telling you this, because it's important that I finish it. The project. It's important that I finish this project and show it to people.

I'm also almost finished with my 4-piece set of portraits that I started so many months ago. It's mostly been art as therapy, keeping my hands busy, and making some special ladies in my life look like Zoobilee Zoo vampire people. It's totally working and it's awesome and fun. I'm thinking I might do another series of friend-related "portraits" and call it Frankenfriend. Just, you know, shit. In my brain. That I'm thinking.

OK, back to your work. Talk to you guys later.

Take me to your sickening leader

I know I'm breaking Thing No. 20, but I always feel the need to share how much I love certain videos, in attempt for people to understand me better (eh). But more to the point, I love sharing the cultures I love so much ... and sometimes am jealous of?

Do I sometimes wish I were a drag queen? Absolutely.

Do I wish I could start incorporating new words and meaning for words into my daily lexicon, a bit like Cockney rhyming slang? Ugh, all the time.


Do I wish ... oh.


Things I Don't Miss
1. My long hair. Any of it. I love my short hair. And anyone who says women with short hair aren't and never will be attractive, I don't know you. I roll my eyes through the Internet at you. Good bye.
2. Eating meat. OK, maybe bacon and honey baked ham. But since I've stopped eating meat, and significantly lowering my cow-dairy intake, I don't feel like shit anymore. I could get into the squishy details, but this was a dietary choice, and I don't regret it. I feel better. Lots.
3. Gas stations. Where are they? I haven't seen a gas station in at least 2 months.
4. Flip flops. I'm not going to attempt to explain that one. Personal thing, I think.

I made corn muffins today and put some sriracha in it. Be jealous.

Lastly, since Chris has started his kung fu training, and I'm training in French foil, we think 2012 will be the year of the freelance assassin.

WHERE AM I

I know it's been too long when I have to look at my Google calendar to see what I've been doing for the last 4 and a half months. Needless to say, since my return from Chicago, things have not been conducive to consistent blogging. Forgive the lack of pics this issue. You can handle it.

In addition to Chicago, add Boston to places I like to visit, although I haven't been able to explore as much of Boston as I'd like. Chris and I have visited twice in the last couple of months for shows and friend time, and we've always had a great time. The Smokey Bear Cave is a great basement venue and everyone's always so friendly and supportive. I would venture to say that a third of the audience has their own artistic project going on, whether it be music and the like, so the line between audience member and performer is blurred in a way that I've never experienced. Way more inclusive and fun, I think. We're not too cool to move around.

After the 10% Wet Tour in the summer, anticipate more Mr. Transylvania shows, teaming up with Guerilla Toss, etc. East Coast, mark your calendars for JAAAANUARY.

This year I volunteered for the IFC's DOC NYC film festival again, and it was even more spectacular than last year, it's very first year. I saw Paula Zahn and thought it was Mary Hart, I saw Malik Yoba, and saw the doc Jay Reatard: Better Than Something. Great week of great stories. kthxbye

I started fencing again! I'm so excited! I've resolved to train at least twice a week until the end of time, or I have to move away or something. However, the only thing I've noticed about not having a car. You have to wear and carry everything you'll need for the day. Food, equipment, extra clothes. I have to carry all of it around the city, depending on the day's activities. Add onto that a cold, wintry climate, and some asthma, and I'm exhausted once it's time to train. I know that New York was the worst place to move to if I had respiratory problems, but obviously idontcare.com

SPEAKING OF ASTHMA. I'd always wanted to try acupuncture and alternative medicine since I don't have health insurance and really don't anticipate receiving any soon. I don't want to get into that aspect, though. That could last fo-evaaaa. I've gone to acupuncture twice now and found the experience to be really positive, and I have felt relief from some of my symptoms and primary concerns. I also started using herbs recommended by the herbalist(s) I spoke with to help ease some of my symptoms. No more burny lungs!

I went to Florida real quick for an early Thanksgiving and visited all my family in north Florida. I also had my first vegetarian Thanksgiving, tried making flourless chocolate cake, and vegetarian sloppy Joe's. GREAT WORK, EVERYONE.

HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN TO VERMONT?? If not, you are missing the fuck out. We were visiting a friend from college for the weekend, and we were able to stay in a relatively small town southeast of Burlington. FUCKING GORGEOUS, BRO. We learned about Rusty DeWees, cemeteries, syrup, downtown Winooski, the waterfront. I'm hoping when it's spring/summer, we can go back to hike the Camel's Hump. Amazing hospitality. Bam.

Guys, guys, guys, look at my sandals--NO, look at my bangs. Hi.

Chicago

I've been in Chicago for the last 3.5 weeks workin' on a movaaaay. Wednesday's our last day of principal photography.

We've really enjoyed Chicago. We, meaning myself and my life-partner Chris. We've really enjoyed the city, its people, and the different shit we've eaten along the way. (Kuma's Corner, Billy Goat, Chicago Pizza & Oven Grinder Co., Margie's Candies, El Mezcal, Nueva Leon, etc., etc.)

Oh, and we rode a water taxi.

The neighborhood we've been staying in has a prolific mural-man. Intensely photo-realistic with faces, but then incredibly surreal environments. There's a church around the corner that has a second-hand sale every Saturday. The stoops by the apartment are almost always selling things.

Crap tons of amazing food, that isn't over-priced. The rent here is obscene(ly cheap). The thrift stores aren't totally picked over. Everything isn't so cramped. There are so many opportunities here, expression-wise. The bus drivers actually talk to us, sometimes without us SAYING HELLO FIRST! It's just a pleasant change, while also technically living in a big city.

We heading back to Brookyln at the end of the month, so we're hoping to catch a museum or two, more record-stores-but-also-arcades-in-the-back establishments.

Chicago: You won't be seeing the last of us.

I can't wait to get back to my own bed, though. I hear it's molten lava in Brooklyn, but I don't care. I've got some art-ing/work/walking to do when I get back.