Reality TV has melted my brains

Here's the other 75%. What would happen if we switched the genders on shows like "The Pick-Up Artist" and "Tough Love"?

"The Pick-Up Artist" teaches "socially inept" males how to stop being awkward and find their confidence when interacting with females. (I'll save you the trouble: it involves a big fuzzy top hat and a lot of "Let me get a lady's opinion" questions.) It doesn't promise them the perfect girl at the end, just a way into meeting a metric ass-ton of girls (and keeping them on speed-dial friend-mode "just in case"), but hopefully leading to a fulfilling relationship when they're ready. I guess? Probably not.

"Tough Love" is just a matchmaking show. Some to most of the girls end up doing the "I think I'm falling for you" face for the one and only guy they were matched up with on the show. They're put in situations that tell them not to rely on their looks for attention, that it's not acceptable to be single your whole life, and that the older you get, the less picky you should be. Wait. Maybe not that, but something similar. Someone else want to weigh in on that one?

But what about a show that showed socially inept females how to get over being awkward and meet a bunch of guys? Is that trait somehow cute and worth perpetuating? Being an awkward female isn't cute or funny in real life, only in movies. I mean actual awkward, not the trendy awkward everyone's got such a boner for right now.

And through my observations and research, if "Tough Love" was made with males, a date would walk through the door, some of them would take one look at her and say yes or no. This would go on and on all night long until the producers found somebody "hot" enough. If he doesn't like your outsides in the first 30 seconds, the end. This is what I've learned; if I'm wrong, please discuss it with the group.

That said, shows like "The Bachelor," "Rock of Love," and "Flavor of Love" crack me up. The guy already knows who he wants, but the TV audience (mainly other women) are given the assumption that he's actually giving each girl a "fair" chance at "love." So the show is dragged out for months and gobs of money are made. So it goes.

But(!) I'd like to think there are more people out there like Henry Rollins. I'd like to think he wasn't lying when he said "I want a woman who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don't already know, and make me laugh. I don't care what you look like, just turn me on. And if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow. I will nibble your mukluks with my own teeth. I will do your windows. I will care about your feelings. Just have something in there."

And on this Valentine's weekend, I leave you with a tale of love and a space mission. And Carl Sagan. NPR: Carl Sagan and Ann Druyan's Ultimate Mix Tape

P.S. "Frank DanCoolo: Paranormal Drug Dealer" was given an encore presentation at the Boston Sci-Fi Film Festival.