OK, just go with me on this one ...

Every day at my job, we receive faxes from all over the country, announcing forward-looking statements, the openings of new bank branches, and the financial goings-on of blah blah blah. But(!) every couple of weeks, we receive a nugget of awesome called the “Aish HaTorah’s ‘Fax of Life’: insights into life, personal growth and Torah” from Rabbi Kalman Packouz. No, I’m not a religious person, but that doesn’t stop me from loving Rabbi Packouz’s fax. (P.S. His picture is at the end, and he’s pulling a thumbs up and smiling. Automatic awesome. Edit: Oh, my god. I found his picture and here it is! I want to stick him in my pocket.)

The last fax was about living a “kinder” life and although most of it was common sense, sometimes people forget that you have to give kindness in order to receive it. A kinder lifestyle can lead to a happier, more satisfying life. ANYWAY. This morning's(!) was about the Jewish tradition of Shidduchim, or “matchmaking.”

When the time comes, a young person goes with his/her parents and they visit a matchmaker. The matchmaker gets to know the person’s personality, values, aspirations, you get it. Then the matchmaker scours the neighbor looking for a suitable match. Then when a match is found, a job interview of sorts is begun and a match’s “references” are triple-checked, even down to kindergarten. Then after a date or two, the two people high-five or part ways.

Rabbi Packouz acknowledges that all this may seem quaint, but the system, as a whole, works most of the time. He cites Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twersky’s work “Twersky on Chumash.” Here’s an excerpt:

“Western civilization is awash in love. The media bombards us with love via every possibly modality: verbal, graphic and lyrical. Is it not strange that with all the emphasis on love, the divorce is an alarming 40 percent? … What passes for ‘love’ in western civilization is either blind passion, or at best, self-love. Neither of these are a basis for an enduring relationship. Passion dissipates fairly soon and self-love may be rather easily frustrated.”

With all this in mind, VH1’s “Tough Love” will be back for a second season Nov. 18! Steve Ward, Philadelphia’s matchmaker, brings all these sad sack women together and, sometimes, helps then find love. Said sad sacks include “The Over-Texter,” “The Princess,” “The Biological Clockwatcher,” aaaand the ever-popular, ever-amusing “Whore with Daddy Issues” because she gets drunk too often, insults innocent dates, and has a blatant crush on Ward. Try to guess which one was which. Enjoy this taste of what you’ve been missing on the eve of the new season.

To be honest, party people, I've never been good at analysis and synthesis when faced with data and evidence. Ask my undergrad professors, they will totally agree. But with the infectious diseases known as eHarmony, Match.com, OKCupid, and Plentyoffish claiming nameless millions, it's no wonder I feel that single people the world over have screamed "Uncle!" and want help finding someone that won't take the last SnackPack without asking. Lugubrious bastards.

Thoughts? Rants? Indifferent shoulder shrugs?

OK, you've been good, here's a LOLcat: