Fruit flies can go to hell

I think I may have found something I hate more than sugar ants: FRUIT FLIES.

When I was in middle school, I had the chance to build a contained compost heap, so to speak. I built it out of 2-liter soda bottles filled with differing "floors" rotting matter. I was sure I'd messed up, because although the food was decomposing beautifully (wehhh), there seemed to be no other developments ... until someone tapped the bottle and a TSUNAMI WALL OF FRUIT FLIES filled every empty space in the plastic bottles. I was both triumphant and horrified.

It was like

And now, I am fine with fruit flies when they were contained. I am fine with fruit flies when they seem to find my cubicle at work fairly entertaining, before realizing there is nothing hospitable about my workspace. I keep my shit rot-free, thankyouverymuch.

I was fine with fruit flies, until they BROKE INTO MY HOUSE ... apartment ... whatever. And now when I'm checking my email, making a sandwich, going to the bathroom. To make it clear, I live in a studio apartment, so space is fairly limited. I'm not dealing with a swarm or a cloud or anything. Just 3 at most, I know it. But I can't catch and kill them for the life of me.

I've resorted to making a tape glove, so that maybe if I do make contact with a godforsaken fruit fly, IT WILL BE TRAPPED.
 

I saw one on the train this weekend and nearly lost my mind. Summer go 'way.

Everyone's a monster freak bitch

That's what runs through my head as I look around from my Stephen King novel while riding the train. I remember one morning walking to work and being repulsed more than usual by the people talking to themselves in the streets or also just walking to work, but just much too slowly. IZ HOT. WALK FASTER.

The summer before I left for college, I read "It." This year, after I returned from what I like to call "my summer vacay," I finished "Dead Zone," and I'm now about halfway through "'Salem's Lot." Before all this started, I'd be watching a ton of X-Files episodes on Netflix. Needless to say that doors opening by themselves and creaking while doing so, or when someone looks at me too long on the train, has taken on new and creepy-ass meaning. Hissing at people is still socially unacceptable, right? We'll see.

Also, speaking of X-Files, while I was watching all 3 seasons in rapid succession, I got really tired of seeing Scully get punched and hit and kidnapped and implanted. Ugh, gets very tedious. Part of me wants to look through the gaggle of discussions about the series, but I feel like that would be a rabbit hole that, once caught in, I would never be able to emerge from un-paranoid about everything. If you don't already know how I feel about ants, just know that I don't need anymore peculiarities in my world.

Guys, I found out I really like barley! Neat.